


Winter

by catnipcutie (orphan_account)



Series: lacks consistency but uses the same characters [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Character Death, Coming of Age, Extended Metaphors, Gender Dysphoria, Genderqueer Character, I'm sorry this is long, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Last words, Metaphors, Mild Language, Multi, References to Shakespeare, Rejection, Romeo and Juliet References, Shakespeare Quotations, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 16:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4528635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/catnipcutie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were an innocent child, full of smiles and laughter. Your youth was a never ending summer day, spent playing and sleeping. You remember distantly that there was never anyone around but your mother. Always the two of you, and you were happy that way. But, of course, everything comes to an end. The end of your childhood came when a girl found her way into your little world.<br/>--<br/>A child's journey from summer to winter.<br/>lol I can't summarize</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Sweet Summer Child

**Author's Note:**

> this has part of my other story "Can't Help But Jest" except this one is better :3

You were an innocent child, full of smiles and laughter. Your youth was a never ending summer day, spent playing and sleeping. You remember distantly that there was never anyone around but your mother. Always the two of you, and you were happy that way. But, of course, everything comes to an end. The end of your childhood came when a girl found her way into your little world.

Her skin was pale, unlike yours, dotted with little blemishes she called 'freckles'. Her eyes were greenish brown, she called them hazel. Her hair was orange, unlike anything you'd ever seen. She said it was red, but you knew what red looked like and that was not it.

She had smiled at you and said brightly, "My name is Reyna!"

You managed a small smile and told her that you were called Ellis and that you thought her hair was pretty.

Everything went downhill from there.

Things were good at first. She invited herself into your heart and the two of you shared your endless summer. She liked playing dolls with you, something your mother never wanted to do. She made you smile. The two of you grew up together in your world. But you noticed that as the years passed, you stayed a sweet summer child. Reyna, however, became part of the Fall, bringing a chill into your world whenever she came over.

She talked about things you never could have dreamed of, wars and hunger and sickness and pain. She talked about death, admiring it, almost worshiping it.

The first time you realized something was horribly wrong was when she, irritated with one of her other playmates, exclaimed, "I could just kill him!"

You had been so horrified that you didn't say a word.

Your mother sighed and sat you on her knee. She explained that Reyna was becoming a Winter child, that she had become one, that you would, too. You couldn't stop the changing of seasons. Some people were just faster than others.

After a while, you noticed that the word death had slipped into your vocabulary, and that the chills in your world lingered even after Reyna was gone.

When you were nine, more people found their way into your world. There was Jasper, a curly-haired boy that left flowers in his footsteps, Dominic, always trying to be cool, Naiya, the most energetic girl you'd ever met, and Joey, a being you knew almost nothing about.

You grew to love Jasper in a way you'd never loved anyone else. He became your darling, your dear. He himself was a child of the Fall, but he always made your world feel more like summer, dispelling the chills that Reyna left behind. You loved him with all your little heart.

But then Jasper became a Winter child. You could see it in his eyes the day his seasons changed. Instead of the daisies usually left in his wake, snowdrops sprang up in his steps. He looked so sad, so broken, and it hurt you to the core. Your mother noticed Jasper's change, too. She told him you couldn't see him anymore. He would never return to your summer world. The day she told you was the first that a frigid wind blew through your world without the help of Reyna, and it rained for days.

When you were ten and she was eleven, Reyna started talking about love. Your mother had explained that when you were older, you would find your Special One. You didn't understand. All of your friends were special to you. The only person you had ever loved in the way your mother described was Jasper, and even so, he didn't completely fit the bill. Reyna, on the other hand, had a new potential Special One every week. Sometimes it was a girl, sometimes it was a boy. You had never really bothered to think about things like gender. You knew that you and Joey were different from everyone else, somewhere in the back of your mind. Joey was born a girl, but he so desperately wanted to be a boy. You called him a 'he' without a second thought, and he had beamed so widely you thought his face might split. But you felt like neither gender, just a floaty child, so that was how you stayed.

One week, Reyna didn't have a candidate to be her Special One, so the two of you talked about other things, instead. She wanted to know if there was anyone you wanted to be your Special One. You said you didn't know, which was true, but Reyna wouldn't let it go. She kept suggesting people, Domi, Naiya, Esther. You assured her that no, you didn't hold those feelings for any of your friends. Then she asked if it was her.

You didn't answer.

She had laughed and said she'd probably let you be her Special One if you ever asked.

You had never thought about her in that way, but once she brought it up, you couldn't get the thought out of your head. After that day, your world was just a little bit colder. You kept waiting for the weather to warm up, but it never did.

At one point in that same year, you asked Reyna to play dolls with you. She had rolled her eyes and shook her head, telling you that dolls were for babies and that she was too cool for them.

You were devastated. You and Reyna had become friends because of your mutual love for dolls, and she didn't like them anymore. But you had laughed, played it off, and said that you felt the same and you were just asking in case *she* wanted to.

That was the first time you betrayed your feelings to fit in. The temperature in your world dropped ten degrees, and every so often you'd notice that your trees had less leaves.

When you turned twelve, Reyna's seasons changed again. She had become a Winter child. She almost never wanted to play with you now, she was too busy chasing after Dominic. You didn't understand why, Dominic would just hurt her. He was prideful, rude. They wouldn't do well together. Part of your annoyance with the situation had to do with your protectiveness of Reyna. The other part was jealousy. You couldn't place why, but you didn't want Reyna to be with anyone else.

Since Reyna didn't play with you a lot anymore, Naiya took her place. Naiya was always bouncy and cheerful. She, like you, was still a summer child, showing no signs of cooling. It was a refreshing change, since most of your friends belonged to either fall or winter. Unlike Reyna, Naiya didn't mind playing dolls with you. She became your best friend.

Naiya was also friends with Jasper, so she kept tabs on him for you. Sometimes she even organized ways for you to see him, and you loved her even more because of it.

You still loved Reyna, too, even if she didn't love you anymore.

When you turned thirteen, you finally realized that you wanted Reyna to be your Special One. Naiya most certainly did not approve. She did everything in her power to talk you out of it, to no avail. You chased Reyna the way she chased Dominic, and you were absolutely miserable. Reyna never seemed to notice. At least, if she did, she didn't mention it. But the two of you did see each other still, so it was alright. She loved to talk about Shakespeare, a man who wrote long story-poems called plays. Reyna was particularly fond of Romeo and Juliet. She said you seemed a lot like Mercutio. You weren't sure rather to be flattered or offended. Sometimes you stayed up late to read the play, and you wondered if your love was star-crossed.

On the day you read about Mercutio's death, your season changed to Fall.

You didn't like the clouds, or the way it was always chilly. You didn't like wearing sweaters and long pants. You especially didn't like the way you felt now, with the introduction of emotions like bitterness and depression and apathy. Your mother said it was normal, that you shouldn't worry, that you'd get used to it.

You didn't.

Your least favorite emotion was hate. You still chased after Reyna, but sometimes you hated her. You hated her for not loving you, before realizing that was paradoxical and you felt silly. How is she supposed to love if she is hated? Thoughts like that always invited bitterness and sadness in, and you didn't like them either.

Naiya often got angry with you because of Reyna. She could tell that Reyna was hurting you, that chasing after her made you tired, that your seasons would change too soon if you stayed with her. You knew she was right, but you still ignored her. Joey tried to help too, but just like with Naiya, you never listened.

A few days after you turned fourteen, you told Reyna you loved her. She laughed in your face, telling you that she had outgrown you some time ago and kept up with you only out of pity. She loved Dominic, always would, and there was no way she'd even consider.

That same day, winter blew into your world. Naiya and Joey came to visit, bundled up in layers. Not once did they say "I told you so," only tucked you in bed and let you cry.

Shortly thereafter, you came down with a horrible cold. You hadn't been prepared for winter. You had never been sick before, your body wasn't ready. You constantly drifted in and out of consciousness. When you were awake, you saw Naiya and Joey, they rarely left your world, always taking care of you. When you slept, you had dreams about Jasper and Reyna. A deep bitterness settled in your heart toward your mother for taking Jasper from you, and toward Reyna for turning you into a winter child so soon. But your rage didn't help your sickness. After a few months, your mother told you quietly, face stained with tears, that you would die. The words barely registered in your cloudy mind.

"I'll go back to spring?" you asked.

"Yes, child. You'll go back to spring. But we won't be with you anymore. Your seasons will start over."

It was a few days before you understood, but once you did, the hatred in your heart grew. Reyna killed you. She killed you! You should have listened to your friends, but now it was too late. You had to accept it. You would die, and that was that.


	2. Can't Help But Jest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revenge is sweet and karma's a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a re-write of another story  
> don't mind me

Today is the day you will die. You've sorted through all your memories, there's only one thing left to do. For the last time, you invite Reyna into your world.

To your surprise, she comes. The hatred swells within you, you hate her, hate her, you could just kill her! But you can't kill anyone, you are too weak. You can feel pain distantly, but it feels as though it's not yours, it's disconnected. She sits in your room by the side of your bed, watching you carefully. She says nothing to you, even now. She whom you loved. You smile and try to shake your head, but that hurts, thousands of thoughts are rushing through your head. You say the first thing that comes to your mind.

"A plague o' both your houses!"

Now is not the time for old inside jokes, but you can't help but jest. Her expression does not change. You wonder if she remembers that the two of you loved that play. It's only been a year, but it feels like forever. You wonder if she remembers you loved her, and you smile crookedly.

"If love be rough with you, be rough with love! Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down."

A bitter laugh leaves your lips, that hurts too. Your lungs were already pained from coughing.

"Was I too rough with you? Is that why you pricked me?" you ask teasingly. "I only ever loved you."

Her eyes narrow. She's angry now, and you laugh again. You don't care that it hurts, all that matters is revenge. Somewhere in the back of your mind you realize that a hunger for vengeance must have been winter's new feeling.

"Even now the frozen bosom of the north, and, being anger'd, puffs away from thence, turning his face to the dew-dropping south. Don't turn your face! I thought you wanted to watch me burn. I thought you didn't care about me! Why turn away?"

You haven't talked this much in months. It hurts, it hurts, but you can't stop yourself. She grits her teeth. You're just barely holding on to your breath, only to taunt her. You must admit, it feels lovely.

"Shut up!"

Finally, she has spoken to you. Would Dominic still love her if he knew? The thought makes you smirk.

"Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead; stabbed with a white wench's black eye; shot through the ear with a love-song. Yes, yes. Already dead, I am. Dead long ago. Dead men tell no tales, don't mind me."

"I didn't love you," she growls. "I never did. You were my pity friend, nothing more."

"I didn't say you did!" you purr. "Say, did you have a dream last night? If so, so did I! And did you know, love, that dreamers often lie?"

"Will you stop?"

You laugh, then break into a fit of coughing.

"Ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man," you manage to gasp.

It's true. You can tell don't have much longer.

"Stop it!"

You're dying and she's the one whose buttons are being pushed. The irony amuses you to no end.

"Ah, perhaps I'll live," you muse, "My wounds are not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but perhaps 'tis enough to kill me, perhaps 'twill serve. Heart-wounds are different than others, I suppose."

Her fists are balled now, long nails digging into porcelain skin. She's bleeding, red streaking along the pure white, but it doesn't seem like she's noticed. There was a time when you would have been horrified by the sight of blood. Those days are long gone, all because of her.

"I hate you!" she screams, and you know it's false, otherwise she would have left.

"Thou art as hot a Jack in thy mood as any in Italy, and as soon moved to be moody, and as soon moody to be moved. Calm down, love, I'll go soon enough."

"I'm not your love, don't call me that! Why can't I just leave you?!" she's escalating, escalating, and you can't help but laugh. You cough again.

"Too great oppression for a tender thing. You can't leave me because you loved me, you know I loved you. Perhaps there's a bit of goodness in your heart still."

A smile plays at the edges of your mouth. She's crying. Your mission is accomplished.

"You know I'm right."

She doesn't answer, she's kneeling beside you now, tears staining her face.

"A plague o' both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me: I have it, and soundly too: your houses!"

The last thing you wanted to see was her, pitiful, broken, the way she had made you. Revenge is sweet, karma's a bitch. You laugh.

"Famous last words, huh? You said I was like Mercutio. A plague!"

And with that you release your breath, moving on to your next Spring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry it's so long TT^TT


End file.
